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At no time in my life have I felt so strongly as now, the sense of apathy which almost incessantly obsesses me with all the magical power of enforcement to make me ignore such a curiosity-provoking scandal in the world today as would be an exact target of my bitter criticisms a few weeks ago; nor ever been so closely and potently aware of the looming malevolent fear of nothingness. I, coming back to stay at my hometown Shizuoka one week ago, had a really good time there. But after returning to Tokyo, somehow I’m in the middle of the mood of indifference, reluctant to do anything that demands me to engage myself in some tough stuff in need of my care even inside my home, let alone outside. However, maybe I might be allowed to let it give myself consolation to consider that given the fact that all the hundred hedonistic ways imaginable to cheer up oneself like TV games, shopping, Karaoke and so on completely failed to win back my enthusiasm after all, it is all the more creditable for me to decide to enliven myself by employing the highly academic way of updating this blog, instead of the other unprincipled ways like above. That really made me realize how deeply I’m inclined to the “writing”.

But now it still remains the same that an air of lackadaisicalness compulsively continues to assault me, melancholy enough to leave little hope of brilliant vitalities a few weeks ago recuperating again. The only hope left to me is class this semester starting from next week. I am supposed to take more specialized classes than ever, and therefore there will be a growing demand on all sides and by every professor in my department for a well-researched term paper, enthusiastically-participated discussion, and elaborately-organized presentation. My motto is “the harder, the better.” So, I really hope that the coming strict classes will encourage myself to get through this semester even without making me stop to think back about this lugubrious period I’m enmeshed in now.